#even if -- or especially because -- they're above what he really understands about the world

[luncheon-aspic]

I feel so fukking stupid.

The kid I'm mentoring asked for my Traumatic Backstory and I decided to tell him (to prepare him for the reality of elite US universities and out of my own sense of self-centeredness). I get to what was basically the end and he asks what the certain professor's name was and what he's doing now after being fired and I said that I'm not saying and I hope he's meditating in a cave and reaching nirvana after realizing the wrongness of his ways. He's like "I want to look him up!" I had to tell him in a dangerous and dead serious voice that I do. Not. Want. To. Know. I will literally tell our supervisor and have you banned from the historic site if you do so and I am NOT playing. His parents were there in the car and telling him to leave it as well, but... Well... He's an autistic teenage boy who doesn't even realize that other people do not want the same things as him and that he needs to respect those boundaries. So it's partially on me as the adult that I didn't withhold certain information, knowing that he's not mature enough to respect that some stories are only for listening, not for ~investigation~, no matter how much YOU want to or think you're doing a good deed.

One of the recurring themes of the day had been the question of why a government would respect the sovereignty of an "uncontacted tribe" despite having superior technology and legal right to their land and bodies (as citizens). He could recognize (to his anguish) that all his arguments for why forcible integration would actually be a good thing were right out of the imperial/colonial playbook, but it just SEEMED so right that "we" should do it. (I also asked him to reflect on the "we" here -- his own positionality is EXTREMELY weird in this argument in ways that I'm not going to explain because it's country-specific and I ain't doxxing myself. I've been introducing him to Babby's First Postcolonial Theory because boy oh boy do I see an identity crisis in his future when he goes to "the metropole".)

I should have connected the dots and been less forthcoming with things that could affect my own wellbeing with the same "good intentions". This may end up being a learning experience for both of us. -_-

[walkingzombiegirl]

hiii can i request some fluff with toge inumaki and fem!reader? like headcannons on how it would be like to date him and how their relationship grew? i love your works you do such a great job! <3

━ 𝘿𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙄𝙣𝙪𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙞

𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 - Toge Inumaki x Fem!Reader

𝘀𝘆𝗻𝗼𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘀 - Headcanons for dating your favorite partial mute!

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 - Cursing? Maybe? Alludes to death

𝗲𝘅𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘀 - My brain ran out of ink I might add more

You guys met when you joined the school as a first year and the first thing you seen was a talking panda

A surprise fr

But then you met him, and it was bonito flakes at first sight

Okay no more jokes

But seriously he was really cute and you were extremely awkward around him for the longest because it's already hard wondering what your crush thinks about you

But you couldn't physically understand yours

Not at first I mean

Inumaki thought you were also also very pretty however he knew that there was definitely going to be a barrier until you began to understand him like his friends did

It's when the notes began

He first began them when he asked you for a pencil right before an exam and it carried over

Each time he needed to communicate with you, he'd write a note

You'd pass them back and forth in class as well, when you were supposed to be being quiet

Gojo pretended he didn't see that part

Until finally his words, though very few, began to click

Like Groot, you caught on, faster than anyone else had and even Maki was impressed with that

He still likes leaving you notes though

Especially in your desk or just around where he knows you and you only will find them

And one day, a note on your desk said, DATE? YES NO

Panda couldn't stop giggling, so you knew something was up

Obviously, as seen above you said yes

I could just imagine all the ways he'd show his love without speaking it for the most part

Like the notes

Also a firm believer that he's very much a hand holder as well, he likes playing with your fingers

Also stares a lot

Especially when you're talking and telling something bro gets extremely zoned in and stares you down like you've hung the sun and stars and are the best thing that's ever happened to him

Which you are

He's whipped

All his friends know this as well, they love it

You don't get to see much happiness often in their world, all you really have is each other and long live happy relationships as long as they last

He likes taking walks, the clear his head since y'know, saying certain things might murder everyone in a few mile radius

They're very personal to him

So he starts taking you, and sometimes it's silence, sometimes he likes just hearing you talk because it helps calm him

Sometimes you both share earbuds

Whatever it is they're some of his favorite things ever and he'll take secrets pics of you if you skip ahead

Great insta posts the man CAN take a photo

He's the type of boyfriend to get in the most awkward poses if you need a good selfie

YES GIRL GIVE US SALMON

*squats*

He truly loves you and worships the ground you walk on

DIY king also btw

Idk why that thought just popped in my head but I feel like he truly can do anything if you ask him

Build you a bookshelf? Five minutes, no sweat, zero mistakes and it's done and he just stares at you like :3

Great listener obviously

HIS BITCH POSE IS NASTY

if you say something even remotely untrue he gives you the biggest most diabolical silent side eye ever seen before

Shakes the ground

Eyebrow game is strong, very expressive man it's very attractive

My thoughts are running out but he's just a king of being a boyfriend

a/n: best friend break up!!!!!!!!!!! THEY STUICJK

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

may 2024 twst manga updates~

***This includes spoilers for the Episode of Savanaclaw, Episode of Octavinelle, and the 4koma!***

AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH LILIA SILVER AND SEBEK LOOK SO GOOD HERE 🤡 I love how Silver and Sebek are constantly shown flanking Lilia, it really enhances the bodyguard/knight vibes! Every time Lilia appears, he always looks like he's having so much fun. Lil' guy is living it up in every panel! Especially when he appears upside down to spook Ruggie.

efbiuSIUBDBYypvfW9wpWD THIS SHOT IS SO GOOD??????? ?I'M LIVING FOR CATER MAKING SILVER AND SEBEK LOOK LIGHTLY UNCOMFORTABLE AS HE HANGS ON THEM.............. .... . . . . ....... .. .... .. . . . . .. ..

Ruggie's despair is delicious 🤤 He's thinking about all the events that led up to this point and about how that will now all go to waste. Now that I think about it and I have the visual right in front of me... That's the same thing Leona felt every time he got knocked down for his efforts. The parallels, man...

Well, fellas... Looks like it's probably Overblot Leona time next chapter. A detail I love here is that, from Leona's perspective, all the faces of his dorm members are sorta blotted out... which is interesting seeing as how it was stated that Mrs. Rosehearts' face was intentionally blotted since she is considered the source of Riddle's trauma + the light novel tells us that Leona fears seeing hope and desperation for a better future in others because it might motivate him to try again, thus prompting another failure or rejection... 😭

Palace servants: Young master Leona's magical power is so strong, it's scary!! Leona: Damn, they don't understand me! They judge me before they even get to know me. If I were the older brother, they wouldn't be saying this stuff. Also Leona: [see image above]

MALEWIFE MODE RUGGIE????? 😭 What a contrast to the Ruggie in the Episode of Savanaclaw who is really going through it…

Love the detail of Yuuta and Grim helping out with chores in the background! It shows that they’re trying to pull their weight while they stay over.

Babe, wake up... New Yuuta and Leona reaction images just dropped from the Episode of Octainvelle... (I am Yuuta whenever new TWST content drops and my non-Twstie friends are Leona whenever they're listening to me blab nonstop about the updates--)

Yuuta once again proves to be my favorite of the current Yuu iterations 🫶 He’s just so sweet and hopeful!

We actually get to see the class photo!! Although the resolution here is very grainy. I'm really hoping that we get to see a close-up after Azul's OB!! I'm dying to see what he looked like as a kid!

fbhlavfuoeqy8vevif;fa fai THIS CHAPTER REALLY MADE ME LIKE ACE?????? ??? ? ?? ? It's probably because he gives the same flawless liar (even though the acting is sooo overexaggerated) energy as Jade in book 4. There's a really fun scene where he's distracting the Atlantica Museum guards and really hamming it up. He looks so cute while he's being (fake) upset yet so enthusiastic!!

This was my favorite part!! Ace excitedly talks about how he's always been interested in merfolk since he was little (lie) and how he saved up all his money to come to this museum (also a lie)... THEN BRO HAS THE AUDACITY TO POSE LIKE THIS AND TALK ABOUT WANTING TO BE A PART OF THAT WORLD????? ?? ???? ? ?? ? ?? ARIEL WHO>?????? ?? ??? ?? ? ?I o NLY KNOW TRAPPOLA NOW

One of the 4koma this month is about Octavinelle going on a camping trip! Azul wants to study the stars for money-making ideas/inspiration.

When talking about auroras, they're reminded of the Diasomnia students and think about making an aurora-colored drink to sell to them. The Octatrio also star-gaze and talk about aliens + selling octopus to them. They discuss the idea of filling a space suit with water and fish to they can walk in space too.

The other 4koma is about Trey brushing the mouths of his mandrake (as they have no teeth but dirt). He insists that everyone should have a clean oral cavity.

You can even tell which mandrake is Trey’s because it has a bunch of toothbrushes stuck in its pot 🪥

Jamil was planning on using his own mandrake to make an ancient remedy for relieving toothache. Trey is uh… interested… and attempts to test out the healing toothpaste for himself (Jamil of course stops him).

Trey… you’re the most NORMAL one, why are you like this OTL

[pinkaton]

crushcrushcrush ❣︎ mark grayson hcs

gender neutral reader, pronouns unspecified

mark falls for you either because he looks up to you in some way/thinks you're cool, or because you're super cute to him (or all of the above) - either way you make him nervous.  

he's embarrassingly tongue-tied in almost every interaction, even a simple 'hi' is suddenly difficult to muster in your presence (no his voice didn't crack in his eagerness to greet you, that's not why william is snickering next to him).  

he doesn't really approach you unless he has to though, like being paired up for an assignment or some other 'practical' reason. beyond casual small talk he's almost content to admire you from afar, or just stay acquaintances.  

william alternates between making jokes at his expense or encouraging him to be forward with you, but they're mostly mild ribbing. he doesn't want to push mark after he fully realizes the extent of harm and danger he has to face, so he's more understanding of his reluctance this time.  

he would happily play the role of wingman though, especially if mark is curious about your interests - william has his ways of procuring information.  

mark ends up knowing more about you than you recall telling him, he tries not to show it because y'know, that'd be kinda weird and he doesn't wanna weird you out or anything - he fails at it of course, he was never a good liar.  

him keeping his distance is only partially due to his own uncertainty and shyness in romance, he's mostly hesitant to try dating again after his relationship with amber went south.  

... not to mention the lack of privacy in his life with the GDA breathing down his neck, the fact that he'd been beaten to within an inch of his life a number of times, and at literally any point in time he could be required to leave you to don the mask and suit.  

the thought makes his smile slip as he stares at you from across the hallway.  

it's a world he'd rather you stay far, far away from, and after what happened with his father he finds it hard to fully welcome someone new into his life. especially a civilian.  

despite himself he's giddy with anticipation if you show interest in getting to know him better, and if he suspects his crush is reciprocated he indulges in the feeling.  

if you're forward with him he can't resist flirting and/or bantering back, (even if he stumbles over his own words all the while) but there's something restrained about the way interacts with you, always not-so discreetly slipping away before anything can get serious.  

if you're more introverted he feels emboldened to take initiative to approach you, but besides his somewhat nervous air he's never anything more than friendly and polite.  

even if you don't know him all that well yet mark grayson wasn't considered a hard person to befriend, but around you, and only you, he's surprisingly elusive.  

he tip toes between surface-level friendliness and pulling away when he has to commit to something deeper, oftentimes he's clumsy despite his intentions, and it's not hard to tell that he wants something with you despite his occasional cageyness.  

but for the time being, the innocent rush of a highschool crush gives his dual-life a sense of normalcy, and the thought of seeing you again always brings a dopey smile to his face, even on the confines of a hospital bed.

[demonslayerunhinged]

Unhinged analysis

Why is Sanemi so aggro? (Part 2)

This section is mostly from a class/economic standpoint and doesn't really focus on the demon attack on his family. It is also not only based on my little understanding based on the research I did about poverty and class in Edo/Late Meiji Japan but also based on my experiences as someone who grew up poverty-er-adjacent.

This blog here has an article that does a deep dive into Sanemi based on Japanese culture and history. Their work was what inspired me to do a deeper dive into Sanemi's poor backgoround. It's in Japanese but the translations are so worth it, and they have writeups on other characters!

Now lets get to it, this is post is going to be very long and very sappy, be warned.

His Background

We all know that Sanemi grew up poor, but it's poor in a way that's different from the other characters. We can attribute Gyomei's poverty to his religious faith in a way, Tanjiro and Muichiro are more modest than actually poor - at least they own their houses. The Shinazugawas had a shitty landlord whose son made fun of them for being 'the poor people with too many kids', they lived in these rundown, face-to-face, the-neighbors-know-all-your-business row houses.

Sanemi grew up in the slums with a population of citizens who were essentially 'left behind' during the rise of urbanization and industrialization. These citizens not only had to deal with characterizations that portray them as being ignorant, uneducated, boorish, dirty, aggressive, mannerless and ignorant, but also with being preyed upon by greedy landlords, merchants and businessmen. The government weren't of much help either because they would rather put in efforts into removing them as far as possible from the modern cities, away from the eyes of foreigners.

In my experience, slum dwellers rarely if ever rise above their station in life. Their lack of education and exposure prevents them from making a better life for themselves and even if they do move to the city, they are stuck doing menial or manual labor jobs with shitty pay. They spend their entire lives in perpetual poverty no matter how hard they work and how many jobs they take because they're ultimately fighting a system that has not only abandoned them but also creates policies that prevent them from moving higher in life.

Due to these frustrations, a lot of them take up gambling and drinking alcohol to cope with their sorrows. Frustrations with the system and with their situations lead to a lot of them taking up gambling and developing alcoholism to cope. There is also high rate of violence among them, especially domestic violence as heads of households who were usually the ones to go out into the world and deal with the discrimination and struggles while trying to pursue low class jobs would take out their anger on their wives and ultimately children. The children who grow up in this environment, where violence is all they know would eventually go on to become abusers themselves when they start families of their own, that is, if they don't die of illness or are killed before that.

You can read more about it here, here, here, here and here.

We can see that with Sanemi's dad, the piece of shit who took out all his anger and frustrations on his wife and children before ultimately becoming a victim of violence himself.

After his death, we see Sanemi having to take up the responsibility of taking care of the family as was culturally expected of the firstborn and the oldest boy - similar to Tanjiro. When Sanemi's dad died, he had to take up a job to take care of the family. In the scene where he talks with Genya about their dad's death and their promise to take care of their mother and siblings, we can see that Sanemi is pulling a rickshaw.

Rickshaw pullers were among the lowest classes of manual labor, they were referred to sometimes as 'Human horses' and while they were mostly known for transporting people, they were also hired by merchants and regular people to transport goods as well. We're not told of the work his mother did before she turned into a demon, but she might have been a domestic worker or a waitress of some sort. It's not hard to imagine that there were times when the kids had to go hungry.

So what's the point of all this story? Well because children who come from these backgrounds are not only often violent and aggressive in their language, conduct and personality but even if they do manage to make it to adulthood and by some miracle manage to break through the class barrier they often come out of the other side with a MASSIVE inferiority complex.

And our dear boy Sanemi has one, big time.

Now that we've talked about his background, let's talk about how all this contributes to his....

Relationships

In the fandom, the main complaints about Sanemi is his behavior towards Giyuu, Tanjiro, the demon slayer trainees and Genya, so I'm going to focus on just these.

Giyuu

Like I've mentioned before @roseameilatempest already posted a great write-up about Sanemi and his complicated relationship with Giyuu, so I'm just adding to it.

The two main things that create friction in their relationship, aside from Giyuu's inability to communicate are Sanemi's low self-esteem and his aggressive personality. The low self-esteem really showed itself when he questioned Giyuu at the Hashira meeting about his 'I'm not like you guys attitude'.

In this scene he asks

Which is a really interesting question because of all the Hashiras he's the only one who voices this sentiment. Obanai just talks about Giyuu wanting to get ahead, Shinobu just asks him to explain himself, Muichiro doesn't really care, but there's the thing about being the baby of the group so he may not want to butt-in to the 'adult' matters. Gyomei is praying.

Sanemi's the only one who stands up and confronts Giyuu about the matter but given his background as previously discussed it's almost as if he's asking "Are you looking down on me?".

From the little we know of Giyuu's backstory, he didn't grow up in poverty. After his family died, he went to go live with relatives before making the decision to leave and join the corps. He has fair skin and soft looking features in contrast to Sanemi's rough, scarred ones. He has slim, delicate-looking hands with piano-playing fingers compared to Sanemi large, knobby, rough-looking hands with early-onset-arthritis-ass fingers.

Even his conduct has a certain air of class to it. So when Giyuu says stuff like 'I'm not like other girls-I mean Hashira', the inferiority complex part of Sanemi is triggered, and he takes it as an attack on him thinking that Giyuu is looking down on him because of his poor background and his class.

But Sanemi deep down cares, even if he doesn't realize it. Instead of dismissing Giyuu as just being a dick, he tries to get an answer, an explanation, but because of his rough way of speaking and his aggressive personality it comes out confrontational. He doesn't know how to express himself in a non-aggressive way because nobody ever taught him how.

Tanjiro(bestest boy ❤)

Ah yes, Sanemi's BFF. I'm honestly surprised that some people don't understand why Sanemi does not vibe with Tanjiro. Tanjiro embarrassed him in their first meeting, only to escape the consequences for his actions because of the Master's benevolence. He questioned his worth as a Hashira which, as mentioned in the previous post, is the core of Sanemi's identity.

In their second encounter, Tanjiro(bestest boy ❤) talked back to him. Now, despite all the wacky and interesting characters, the fancy mods to their uniform with the haoris and stuff, the Demon Slayers Corps are still a military organization. They have a hierarchy, they have rules and punishments for those who break them and within the context of the military and cultural values: You don't talk back to your superiors, you don't disrespect them and you most certainly don't embarrass them no matter how in the right you feel you are. It's not fair, it just is. Some superiors may tolerate it like Tengen, Giyuu, Mitsuri and Shinobu but others, like Sanemi, Gyomei, Obanai and even Muichiro will not.

I mean, even Mitsuri complained about Genya's behavior when she first met him, even though his actions were because of him being shy.

The first time Tanjiro(bestest boy ❤) disrespected Sanemi, he was on neutral ground, the Master's mansion. Kagaya is a saint, so he understood Tanjiro's actions, but remember he also chided Tanjiro a bit, even if it was in a soft manner. Now in this second encounter, He's in Sanemi's house, in his domain, and you can't come about here disrespecting your senior in their own house. And If you do, be prepared to face the consequences.

Tanjiro(bestest boy ❤) then embarrassed Sanemi again by (rightfully) calling him out on his shitty behavior towards Genya, in public, in front of his other subordinates. He then proceeds to not only block Sanemi's punch but to counter it with an embarrassing kick to the neck, RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE SCRUBS! Like what? In some organizations, you could be penalized and immediately kicked out, but like I said, Kagaya is a saint.

That's why Tanjiro(bestest boy ❤) was given the reprimand and Sanemi wasn't. Because he was in the wrong.

The concept may seem foreign to people who grew up in the west, but for those of us from home countries that have rigid power and class structures, we know this pain all too well.

That's why you talk and complain about your superiors BEHIND their backs, like Zenitsu does.

I swear, Zenitsu is probably the realest character in the series, I love him so much 😂.

Then in the last encounter they had, Tanjiro embarrassed Sanemi again, but this time it's worse because he did it RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS CRUSH!

Your senior's business is not your business, if you see them fighting, it's best just to leave them alone and pray it's the one you hate that gets his ass kicked.

So here's Sanemi trying to communicate with his crush, and he's about to get to the part where they get to put their hands on each other ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). Then Tanjiro comes up and gets between them, ignoring the restraining order and then asking if they were fighting over ohagi.

He then reveals Sanemi's biggest secret: That he's gay-I-mean-er likes ohagi. Neither Tanjiro(bestest boy ❤) nor Giyuu see any problem with this because soft boys but for a tough, scary man like Sanemi this is a problem. He's a man, he shouldn't be taking sweets! (which is like a real thing in Japan, so i learned. You can read about it here, here, here and here), also Sanemi loves ohagi becuase his mom used to make it; men shouldn't be thinking about their mommies! Men should be tough and only eat manly things like raw bull testicles and cement!

Then Tanjiro(bestest boy ❤) drives the knife even further by asking him about his ohagi preferences, while Giyuu (who unknown to Sanemi is glad to have found an opportunity to rizz him up) asks him to confirm but in Sanemi's mind he thinks Giyuu is making fun of him too.

So Tanjiro has, so far, called him a shitty Hashira, a shitty brother, and now a shitty man. All he wanted to do was smash and now he's getting pressed by a 16 year old. So yea, our boy is going to react in the only way he knows how - by giving Tanjiro a swift clock to the jaw.

At this point, you've gotta pity Sanemi, he's the real victim in this relationship. But let's move on.

The Trainees

This is another complaint that also confuses me because the answer is so obvious. Why is Sanemi hard on the trainees?

Because Sanemi's training is Infinite Strikes! Because his training is supposed to be hard! Because they're at war! Because Muzan might be coming soon! Because this is a military training! Because the Hashiras are basically Drill Sergeants! Because Sanemi says fuck you!

But seriously, I don't understand why Sanemi and Obanai are getting hate for their training methods when Tengen's was just as harsh, Mitsuri was basically ending family bloodlines, Muichiro deadass was about to sashimi someone's child.

And Gyomei? Gyomei's training basically qualifies as torture by the Geneva convention laws. You see these guys below? These boys are all dead! Dead, i tell you! You can't convince me otherwise!

Even Inosuke died!

The training is meant to be harsh because it's not just the trainees lives at stake, it's the people of Japan, it's the lives of their friends, families and loved ones. The Hashiras know this and Sanemi whose whole life revolves around being a demon slayer and killer, especially knows this.

He and Obanai don't have the luxury of sending the junior slayers back for their protection like they did in the mansion. Like we saw in the last episode of the season, Muzan came after everyone not just the Hashira. Despite his rough and harsh exterior, Sanemi actually cares about his colleagues and his subordinates and he doesn't want them to die needlessly. If that means he has to be the 'bad' Hashira, then that's fine with him.

Genya

There's no justification for the shit he pulled trying to poke Genya's eyes out. I've made like two posts regarding this before about how his actions were not only stupid but will ultimately be pointless because Genya is amazing!

Aside from wanting to keep Genya safe (whatever that means), I think one of the reasons Sanemi doesn't want to come in contact with Genya is because when he's around Genya he's reminded of the past and trauma that he's trying to repress. I don't think it was a random choice that older Genya is dressed in a way almost similar to baby Genya. So everytime Sanemi sees him, despite Genya's size and the awesome things he's done, all he can see is that little boy that he almost failed to protect, that called him a monster, that rejected him and seeing that reopens that old core wound. That he's a monster.

Sanemi isn't ready to face all that, so with the little understanding of his own emotions and the trappings of toxic masculinity, he pushes Genya away becuase doing so is way, way, way easier than talking to his brother. It's easier than revealing to Genya that Genya's words did hurt him, that he failed to protect their mom and siblings and that maybe Genya is right, he is a monster, that even though he saved Genya it doesn't change the fact that he used his very hands to kill the only person that loved and protected them in this world.

I think a lot of people really underestimate the gravity of what baby Sanemi did. Tanjiro couldn't kill Nezuko and I'm sure he himself would've rather died than raise a hand to his loved ones but Tanjiro was lucky in a sick way because Nezuko was not only the only survivor but encountered Giyuu who who gave him the opportunity to save Nezuko, essentially giving her a second life. Sanemi never had that chance. In order to protect his brother, he had to kill his beloved mother, and you can just imagine the amount of damage that can do to a child's psyche.

I read a comment on Youtube that said this was probably the reason why Sanemi was so feverently against the Master's defence of Nezuko and that when Nezuko rejected his blood, his whole worldview must have shattered because if Nezuko was able to overcome her demonic urges and still maintain her sanity, why couldn't his beloved mother?

But you might ask, how come Genya seems fine? Well, he wasn't at first, he was basically Sanemi 2.0 but he was able to make peace with himself, escape the trappings of toxic masculinity and the violence that they were raised in. Instead of bottling up his emotions, he wants to reach out, to apologize for his behavior, to mend their brotherhood because no matter how Sanemi is now, no matter how many times he tells him to get lost, no matter the harsh words he throws at him, to Genya he'll always be his Aniki.

The same Aniki who's been looking out for him, the same Aniki that sought him out and comforted him after he punched the landlord's shitty son, the same Aniki who gave him a piggyback ride despite them practically being the same height just to make Genya feel happy and loved, the same Aniki who let out that brilliant laugh after they made the promise to protect their family as he pulled the Rickshaw to make some money for the family, the same Aniki who is the sweetest, kindest person in the whole world.

While we see the rough, scarred, aggressive and scary Sanemi, Genya only sees this:

I'm sure a lot of us know what it's like to be angry, to lash out, to push people away and how difficult it is go through life in a world that doesn't care about you or your trauma. We know what it's like to be left behind and forgotten. We wander aimlessly through life hurting with a feeling of emptiness and we don't even know why. Some of us overcome, some of us don't. We just make do with the tools and little resources we have and Sanemi is a painful reminder of that.

In Conclusion, Sanemi is a complex character. He's not all star good, he's a dick, some of his actions are straightup unhinged, but that's what makes him human. He's not perfect, and for us to appreciate this character we have to accept him in all his wild, raging, scarred, petty-ass, little-brother-eye-poking, women's-size-7-feet-having, ohagi-loving glory.

[greyskyflowers]

I'm always on a Visored/Ichigo kick but it's been especially bad lately. Sooo have some little hollow instinct AU?? plot bunnies that won't get bigger than this but still wanted to hop around.

Is it trauma, power dynamics, or hollow instincts? The world may never know.

The world does actually know and it's all three.

⚠️ Some strange relationship and/or combination of Visored/Ichigo/Kisuke because that's my jam and I'm partying alone. ⚠️

💀💀💀💀

Ichigo doesn't know what he looks like when he's like this. No one else knows either, which is a good thing because people have destroyed and conquered worlds for less.

Long limbs sprawled, belly down and back exposed. There's a blanket drapped over his hips more for the comforting weight than any warmth. His tan skin glows in the low lighting and his hair looks like soft embers.

He smells like them. He looks like theirs. He's sleeping in their space. It hits a lot of things they knew would appeal to them but not to this extent.

He's taken their advice to heart, about getting familiar with the new hollow instincts and just do what feels right. At least until he's able to separate the things that are more him and more hollow.

It's driving them nuts. He's shameless and he doesn't even know it.

He presses his face against their faces and throats, the bridge of his nose pressing against the underside of their jaws and nuzzling real quick before darting off. The scent of him clinging to them and the submissive gesture, ducking to press under their jaw, is addicting.

It's a intimate greeting, one they don't even really give to each other but Ichigo uses it multiple times a day. A happy, warm and loving gesture that says hihelloimhereandyourehereandimveryhappy each time he does it. They kind of dread him figuring out how personal it is because he'll stop.

He makes himself small when he's anxious or scared, when he lets himself act his age for once. He holds himself well, they'll give him that. It's hard to tell unless he wants you to know but there are signs they pick up on, along with Kisuke's hints.

It's easier to be vulnerable at night, when it's dark and it doesn't seem so bad to seek out warmth and comfort.

They're particular about sleeping arrangements. They don't like others in the same area as them while they sleep. They puppy pile, as Mashiro happily calls it, not able to fully relax unless they're tangled up with at least 3 other people. The only people in the world they trust completely, with every part of their souls, and Kisuke.

And apparently Ichigo because he slips right in, and not only does he sneak in without kicking off their instincts but gets up against their throats without so much as a twitch from them. He stays above the blankets and avoids the mess of limbs, which is both smart and makes them frown. Desperate for comfort but still holding himself back, he probably would have tried to leave without them noticing if they hadn't woken up

The jackrabbit heartbeat and shaky breathing is what actually wakes them up.

There's a brief moment where everyone kind of freezes as they process what's happening, and then wait to see which one of them will kick him out, which of them will crack first at having a stranger in their space.

But it doesn't happen.

Everything stays silent and still except for the shaky breathing still coming from Ichigo, they swear they can hear feel his heart pounding, and a little keening noise that's so faint they miss it at first. It zips up their spines as soon as they notice, it's like a straight shot of adrenaline and a protective awareness surges in their chests.

They know there's no actual threat, they would have felt it, and they know that the kid just had a nightmare or was thinking too hard and worked himself up. But it doesn't seem like their instincts understand that.

They've never made that sound, not a single one of them ever, and they've made some weird noises. It's a terrible sad, lonely, scared noise and they don't ever want to hear it again.

This all happens in the span of a few minutes, enough for Ichigo to start calming down a little. He's not as tense and his breathing has gotten slower. Not enough to indicate he's asleep yet but he's on his way.

They all squish in closer and Ichigo falls right asleep, his cold nose and wet cheeks pressed into warm skin.

Hollows do not purr like cats, at least in their experience, but they swear to god they all woke up to purring at different times during the night.

💀💀💀💀

Ichigo starts sitting between their legs, most often when he's injured. Not kneeling, although that's a pretty picture, just sitting down so he's bracketed on both sides by their legs, back to them. Safe.

Lisa and Mashiro play with his hair, Lisa mindlessly as she flips through her magazine and Mashiro makes tiny braids before taking them out and starting over.

Kensei doesn't do much, usually puts his elbows on his knees so he's curved protectively over Ichigo. Occasionally rubbing his knuckles on Ichigo's jaw and petting at his throat.

Shinji tries to always keep a hand on him, tangled in his hair, resting on the side of his throat, or brushing against his cheek.

Ichigo doesn't do it often or around other people and they all try to respect that. He has to be Ichigo, strong, stubborn, impossible, and the one people look to.

💀💀💀💀

The thing people forget is that while wounds heal, the body and soul remember.

It can be a lot of strain, going in and out of his human body so frequently, especially when both soul and body are so familiar with stress, bruises and breaks.

Ichigo may heal quicker than most with his hollow and access to good healers but the echoes linger longer than most others. Especially when injuries are made with intention. Wounds from hollows hurt of course, but there's usually not a lot of thought behind it. So the wounds are more random, varying depths and severity.

Wounds by people shinigami, bounts, quincy, etc are more precise. They know where to aim to make it devastating, agonizing, and life changing.

Ichigo has fought a lot of people and it shows.

He bares his burdens and more in front of people like he's fine. He smiles and laughs, meets all the demands for fights with his own wild grin, moves like he's never had a injury in his life and people don't question it.

There's an area of his chest, and his back, that burn. A few spots of a constant and deep heat that make breathing feel hard.

His shoulders itch and ache, the kind that feels like it's down under the muscle. Nothing helps and lifting his arms is difficult.

A long, dragging catch following the lines of his lower ribcage. Breathing too deeply makes it burn and crackle in sharp pain, short and shallow breaths aren't satisfying but it keeps the pain manageable.

Headaches from countless concussions, a sore jaw from all the times it's been broke, fingers and toes that don't feel right anymore and ache terribly in the cold.

It's not all the time, just occasionally. Things like going back and forth too many times from his body, extreme temperatures, new wounds over the old, etc all cause flare ups.

He's too young to have so many aches.

They're protective over those spots. They can't and won't interfere with his fights unless it's critical but they keep an eye on wounds in those areas. They frown and scare off people when Ichigo starts to flinch from heavy arms being thrown around his shoulders or careless jabs in his side.

Sometimes their old wounds flare up and Ichigo scowls and bares teeth at everyone until the aches goes away.

[nellie-elizabeth]

What We Do in the Shadows: The Finale (6x11)

It's so wild to finish watching this finale and then hop over to Tumblr to see people lamenting and grieving for this epic queer-bait on one hand, and then other people throwing a party because Nandermo is canon now, and I'm just like... what show did you all think you were watching? lol. This was a fun finale.

Cons:

This finale cemented once and for all that the Guide was pretty useless as a character, and I hate saying that because I love the actress and I wanted her to have more to do. But her final character beat is that Cravensworth's Monster is really horny for her? The alternate ending where she's a detective on the case of the vampires was really funny, and it was the first solid bit they've given Kristen Schaal all season, and that bums me out. They even get in a last mention of Nandor's feelings for the Guide, which again goes nowhere and isn't funny or clever or interesting. So that's a bummer.

Also, I want to be careful here because there's all this extra weight put on finales to be some big thing that both shatters and preserves the status quo and that's an impossible standard to live up to, but, the one thing I do wish for was a bit of a resolution or at least an escalation on the whole "the vampires have fallen down on the job of conquering the new world" plot. It's just that the season started with that, and I didn't need some gigantic world-altering payoff, but some sort of circling back in a way that felt like things ended with a bit of momentum into the nebulous future might have been nice? Not the end of the world, but whatever.

To give space to the people who are sad about Nandermo, I will say I wish this show had had a bit more of a substantial relationship to the queerness of all the characters. For all that every single one of them is casually mentioned to be sexually attracted to multiple genders in a way that's really freeing, the only core romantic relationship on the show that has story-lines and gets narrative weight, is between Nadja and Laszlo. I honestly would never have expected or even wanted this finale to be some big grand "Ross and Rachel are finally together" moment for Nandor and Guillermo, but if I reflect back over the show as a whole... yeah. I do wish the queerness of the entire cast had been slightly less incidental in some way? It's more a reflection on some adjustments they might have made over the years, rather than a complaint about this finale in and of itself.

Pros:

Honestly, as I said above, finales have such a weird heavy lift in the TV world, especially when it comes to a comedy like this show. You have two options: either the show ends with a big change, the status quo splintering off and leaving you with a bittersweet sense of time passing (i.e. Friends), or else you basically say: and things go on thusly forevermore, and even if you're not here to see it, they're still out there being themselves. And frankly for this show, any ending that wasn't a preservation of the status quo would have felt disingenuous to me. Because the core tenant for these characters is that they're vampires and they'll continue on indefinitely being who they've always been. It's the core tension of Guillermo as a character, that he's a human with the impulse to grow and change, and his chosen family is frozen in time in a way he can never fully understand or be a part of. It's the thing about the show that makes it a good sitcom, but also doesn't lend itself naturally to some big climactic moment where everything snaps together.

So what do they do with it? They go meta! The episode starts with a setup as if it's going to be about Cravensworth's Monster turning horny and offering his dick as a gift to the Guide, and what they're going to do about this situation. But then, just as everyone's discussing it and giving their cut-away interviews to camera, the documentary crew suddenly declares that they have enough footage and they're done. Everybody else takes this completely in stride, but Guillermo is devastated and confused. So many years, basically his whole adult life, he's been followed around by these cameras, he's had his life structured into narrative arcs, and now... what? What was it all for?

One of the core strengths of the "found family" thing in this show is that the jokes can keep rolling while there is actually a subtle underpinning of sweetness to certain moments. So here, nobody takes Guillermo's reaction all that seriously, they all play off the end of the documentary filming like it makes no difference at all. But, at the same time, they all do something to acknowledge Guillermo's pain in their own way, and try with the typical clumsiness of this gang of vampires to offer him something in the way of comfort. Early season Colin and Nadja and Laszlo and Nandor wouldn't even have bothered to pretend to give a shit that Guillermo is upset, but here we have Laszlo offering to play a tune on the piano, Colin giving empty platitudes and talking about the nature of found family (even though he says he lost his found family in the early twentieth century and has been forced to hang out with these people instead). You have Nadja, using her new keen insight into human psychology to explain to Nandor why Guillermo must be upset, hitting the nail on the head by remarking that Guillermo probably feels like his opportunities for growth and development have passed him by. She uses her hypnotic powers to give the audience the perfect ending they would want, and we'll get into those alternate endings a little later on. And Nandor - Nandor gives Guillermo the stage to speak to the cameras and offer his own resolution, and makes earnest entreaties for them to stay together and be partners in fighting crime.

It's silly, and they all fumble it, and it's not actually reassuring or comforting except that the very effort in and of itself proves that they care. And that proves that these vampires are capable of change, doesn't it?

Guillermo really got the Main Character treatment here at the end, which is honestly his due: he's the one who has to grapple with the documentary ending, with the knowledge that this isn't even the first time his friends have been followed by cameras, that life is cyclical and that everything he's been through isn't new or original. He has to come to terms, in a meta sense, that he's a character in a sitcom. And so he goes for the sentimental ending: he helps put Nandor down to rest in his coffin one last time, acting as a familiar in all ways, and then he tells Nandor goodbye: that it's time for him to move on. He calls Nandor "Master" and when Nandor says he doesn't have to do that, Guillermo says: "I know. But you'll always be Master to me." And then he closes the coffin, slowly and with finality. Both actors give genuinely solemn and touching performances in this moment.

The end.

Of course, a camera still rolling in the corner of the room picks it up when Guillermo doubles back right away, interrupting the crew packing up their equipment. Nandor is pleased to see that Guillermo hasn't left after all, and Guillermo explains that he just wanted to give a satisfying conclusion to the documentary. He has no intention of leaving Nandor! And Nandor treats him as a friend and an equal, inviting him to share his coffin (although not, ostensibly, in a sexy way). Turns out, despite Guillermo's worries that the whole crime fighting thing was a whim and that he'd have to do all of the work, Nandor has actually been working hard on his secret underground lair, accessible only through a secret coffin-shaped tunnel through the earth. Our last glimpse of Nandor and Guillermo in the narrative proper is the two of them plunging through the earth in a coffin together, on their way to Super Hell. Or, I mean, their secret underground lair from which they'll fight crime.

I loved it, honestly. Guillermo's awareness of narrative convention, this whole season being about him stepping back and making his own choices, and then Nandor asking for Guillermo to come back, and Guillermo ending up where he wants to be without any false promises between him and Nandor. They are not a Master and his Familiar. They are friends, and equals, and it was honestly exactly the ending that makes sense for these two. A balancing point between the stagnation inherent in a character like Nandor, for whom change is almost impossible, and a character like Guillermo who had to go on a whole journey to figure out where he wanted to end up.

And then, we've got to talk about Nadja's three proposed "perfect" endings for the viewer. She hypnotized us into three parodies: the first is a Bob Newhart thing, where Nandor wakes up next to his husband Guillermo in bed, having had a crazy dream that encompasses the whole plot of What We Do in the Shadows. I saw some people saying that this was "making fun" of the viewers who shipped these characters, but like, guys, this show is nothing but making fun of everyone. It's all that, it's all jokes, it's all goofy. We got to hear some version of Nandor call Guillermo "honey," we got to see Guillermo kiss Nandor on the cheek. It made me giggle, it was so delightfully absurd. And it really revealed that the creators of the show understand what the Nandermo part of their audiences were picking up on - it's saying, yeah, some of you wanted this as an ending, but can't you see that the two of them having some grand romance at the last second would be genre-and-tone-breaking? I loved the line where Nandor was saying that in his dream, he and the other vampires all were having a lot of sex with each other, and "not you, Guillermo." Amazing.

The other alt "endings" provided by Nadja, available at least on Hulu as extra features, are great also... and I saw by reading some of the reviews of this episode that it seems people genuinely got different endings somehow when watching live - people reacted to the Nandermo Bob Newhart thing as one of the "alts," but I saw it as the actual content of the episode. The reviews that I saw all had the "Usual Suspects" ending as the one in the actual episode, with the others as the alts. That is fantastically troll-worthy behavior and SUCH a good note to go out on, the idea that some people might see one of the three endings and genuinely not know there's more out there. Through these endings we get to see Sean and Derek and some other frequent guest characters play bit parts, which is a fun way to give some of the extended cast a last hurrah.

I want to end by saying that if you're feeling hurt or betrayed by how this show ends, I want to honor that feeling as legitimate to you. But for my personal take? I don't think this show did anything wrong. Like, politically or structurally or tonally. My personal opinion is that this has always been an irreverent show where nothing really matters and nothing really changes, and this finale managed to actually feel like a sweet sendoff to the characters. Evidence of growth like I mentioned above, as this vampire family actually does make space for Guillermo's feelings, albeit in an unconventional and insufficient way. But this was never going to be a show where everybody got suddenly sentimental and sincere and confessed their deep personal truths to each other. It's a show that might wink at you, that might have Nandor say he's glad they won't be on film anymore, that might have Guillermo hopefully pushing to find out what he means by that... but that will always end with Nandor not picking up what Guillermo is putting down, that will always have another silly punchline waiting around the corner. This is a show that made me smile and felt really special in how bizarre it could get. And I did feel, on a genuine, emotional level, like this was the perfect way to end the show for Nandor and Guillermo's relationship.

As Nadja says, nothing is going to change - they'll keep on doing what they've always done, but now there will be nobody to film them doing it. And as Laszlo says, "We’ve had lots of laughs. Sucked lots of blood. And then fucked each other senseless."

This final episode gets high marks from me!

9/10

And the show as a whole, I don't feel like there's much more to say that hasn't been said above, which is probably another sign of a good finale: this was a real wrap-up of the chaotic and goof-ball energy of one of my favorite comedy outings of all time. It kept me good company these past few years, and Guillermo de la Cruz is always going to be a Character of All Time in my book. I'm sad to say goodbye, but what a send-off!

8/10

[gaiaxygang]

i read in your rereading ena3 post (very good post btw, i enjoyed reading it) that you didn’t like ena4 and im actually kinda curious to know why exactly :0

thank you ☺��

it's hard to explain my feelings about ena4 but i will try my best!!!

the story contents of ena4 are fine, it's the game's framing of it that i don't like. "shinei loved ena deep down" and "ena is more similar to shinei than she thinks" are ideas prsk has been building up to for a while, but this is the first time that's fully explored.

and it's... very strange? ena4 frames these as "ena finally understands shinei and his love for her" rather than "ena finally understands shinei and why he is the way he is". there's a world's difference between understanding the motivations of someone who hurt you (especially a parent) and what made them who they are, vs understanding and appreciating the love and good intent behind harmful actions.

you can do both, absolutely. but ena's story always felt like the former to me. slowly understanding shinei as a person and as a fellow artist but never bridging that gap between them.

the story never outright says that ena has forgiven him or that they're going to mend their relationship, but that seems to be the direction they're going. together with mafuyu5 getting a little too close to asahina papa apologism (yes he cared, no he wasn't there, that's the problem) i don't think i'm wrong about this.

also i just find the "i wanted to stop painting to focus on family when i had a child but after finishing that painting i realised i could never stop" thing really really goofy. maybe because i'm autistic and interpret things differently but i feel like this implies shinei put art above family—something he does very often in stories.

in pale colour, we find out he said what he did because he was talking to ena as a fellow artist, rather than as his daughter in need of support and encouragement. this doesn't change until akito tells him to just look at ena properly.

another moment that's played off as a joke is the shinonome family camping trip, where ena pushed shinei into a lake because he was painting instead of helping them set up the tent. it's funny but it says Something about shinei as a person.

prsk didn't say that this is a shinei redemption story, but considering the fan reaction i would say it probably was. he doesn't even do anything to earn that redemption, only the bare minimum 😭 and it's just a very strange direction to go with ena because... well. that's not the kind of person ena felt like until this point.

i haven't trusted prsk with ena since ena3 lololol and ena5 only proved me right, again. but that's a story for another day (

[galene-gothic]

𝖥𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗈𝖿𝖿 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝗇𝖾𝗀𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗏𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝗈𝗎𝗀𝗁𝗍𝗌

୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅* ‧₊ I hope this reading found you in good health, every reblog is appreciated and thank you for everything :) ˖♡ ˎˊ˗ ꒰ 🐇 ꒱

˗ˏˋ༻ʚ♡︎ɞ༺ˎˊ˗             PAID SERVICES

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 1 ꒱

꒰ Your negative thoughts ꒱

You have low-key villainized yourself, while others think that they're very kind people, you think that you're selfish and pushy. You also think that you're kind of catty and don't have an easy time making friends with women especially? You have internalised a belief that connections are not what make you truly happy. You kind of seek revenge, you might not be aware of it but you might imagine the look on people's faces when you look a certain way, have a certain amount of money or a certain lifestyle. Once in a while, you also tend to feel insecure, it could be regarding different things for different people, like for some of you, it might be when you're scrolling on tiktok and see pretty girls, for the others, it might be in regards to how much money you have, etc. For a select few of you, if someone was chosen over you by a love interest, you tend to wonder why you weren't enough. "Was I not pretty enough?", "Why would he/she choose me anyways?", etc. You have a strong belief that men or well, whatever sex/gender you're attracted to in a romantic manner, are not ready to commit (honestly, I do not blame you). You also believe that the people who you are attracted to are players, the type to leave people who they love. Most of you want people to present something tangible (like money) to you in terms of romantic proposals and relationships, etc. but rightfully, you tend to wonder if that's even possible in this generation. The people who you've dealt with in the past or have seen people in your life deal with, might've been really difficult to reason with.

The kind of people who don't apologise after doing the most soul crushing things but hold you accountable for every single thing that goes against their will. Honestly, they might have been the kind of people to go, "you do not understand me, my ex broke my heart in middle school!!" or maybe even the type of people who don't appreciate people doing household chores and are like "I bring a paycheck home so well, I do 90% for this house, all you do is stay at home all day. Household chores aren't even difficult," but are not willing to do them either and say something like "why would I cook and clean? I'm not a slave." I'm not saying that the above are the exact scenarios that you've had to deal with but the level of unreasonableness is just really concerning. Due to their unreasonableness, you think that most people are unreasonable. You also tend to worry about being unreasonable and think about things A LOT. You're the type to be like "was it necessary for me to act like that?" or "I will apologise since I was being unreasonable." You also tend to think a lot about whether the way you're acting is reasonable too. You might sometimes be like "I'm being too thoughtful in a world that lacks thoughtfulness" and feel bad though. You think that you're undergoing some sort of a negative karmic cycle. You are someone scared that you're stuck or not moving forward because maybe for some of you, you were forced to quit your school, university, job or whatever and for others, you simply feel like cycles kind of repeat in your life.

꒰ The loving truth ꒱

I think that for most if not all of you, your selfishness is just a result of resentment, maybe, you ended up being too selfless in the past and it didn't do you well. However, you guys are self serving, you like to make decisions that are the best for you and it doesn't make you selfish. Seeking revenge is kind of being heavy on you since you might end up making decisions from an ego-centric place but you're more than capable of fixing it. You're loveable for being you. Ofcourse, if someone chooses someone else over you, it's normal to be upset about it but trust me, in actuality it has little to nothing to do with you. You do not need to have a certain amount of money, certain kind of beauty or lifestyle in order to be loved. I hope that you're able to stop taking things so personally. I'm saying this from the most loving place, 'not everything is an attack on your worth.' About, people being non-committal, honestly, there are many people like that, however, some people do wish to have a loving relationship with a strong commitment towards one another.

Not all men or women are shitty, the ones you give your time to are. The right people will be willing to do everything you for you, as long as you appreciate it and wish to return the same energy to them. Trust me, you'll find people who you will be able to reason with and vice versa, people who do not victimize themselves or turn everything against you. The fact that you've dealt with unreasonable people actually has been quite helpful for you. You are able to correct your actions and face yourself in the mirror. While, you do villainize yourself, you cannot deny that you're a good person who tries to be a good person. About the karmic cycle, it might actually be true, however, everyone has negative karma and well the cycle is helping things work out for the highest good of all. I'm not sure if before, you tried to get out of toxic cycles but at this point, you're not lazy anymore, you're trying very hard to move forward and do what's the best for you. So, you're not stuck in any cycle. As I said before, things are working out for the highest good. Take good care of yourself, all love.

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 2 ꒱

꒰ Your negative thoughts ꒱

You guys tend to look at things through rose-tinted glasses and you know it. You often wonder if something is just your wishful thinking. Some of you might have gotten very comfortable with having options, if you do not make a good decision soon, you'll lose all the options (I'm not sure whether it's romantically, career wise or just life in general.) You always feel the need to refocus in life, you're always like, "what am I doing right? what am I doing wrong?", etc. while, it's quite good, it's kinda bad because you feel like it leads to you being worried about being disorganised. You wonder if people are not who they seem to be. Another thing is that you are in the spotlight and for some reason, it causes negative thoughts to emerge. You might have people who love projecting and call you ugly to your face or in another case, say that you're not all that just because you're pretty and popular. 'Prom queen' by Beach Bunny started playing. You understand that beauty is pain but most of you still continue striving for it. You might think that you're pretty because I'm not getting you being particularly insecure but there are times when you wish to look different, like, you might be Adriana Lima kind of pretty but want to be Blake Lively kind of pretty sometimes.

You really care about being popular, it seems to be something quite important to you or atleast your reputation. You do not like to look insecure, no matter how bad your day might be going, you try to look as confident as possible. Omg, the popularity didn't do you well is what I'm getting. You feel like you're tired of all the hardships in life. People love competing with you and you know it but you do not wish to compete. People try to compete with you and then accuse you of looking down on them? You're really guarded and wounded, you are aware of it too but you're not being able to stop it yet. Ofcourse, it's not possible to just switch it off but you'll get better soon, I have faith in you. Your negative experiences tend to weigh you down at times but it's only natural, it doesn't make you a bad human. You know that difficult times have made you a really resilient person but you wonder if you're being too guarded. You're aware that so many of your thoughts are simply just self fulfilling prophesies and you're trying to work through them, one at a time. I'm proud of you. You often look to the past in order to become a better person. You know that no one is coming to save you but you might overwork yourself due to that. You're really critical of yourself in general.

꒰ The loving truth ꒱

Honestly, there is a need to look at things through a realistic lens but don't become cynical. Some options are good while some aren't, that's just the way life is in general. Just try to use your discernment. You're beautiful just the way you are, you could try different looks but my advice would be to accept your body while still experimenting (as long as you're not harming yourself or anyone else). About being popular and your reputation, it is something you shouldn't worry about. The moment you start simply focusing on being the best version of yourself without caring about popularity, etc. is when you'll receive the most popularity and support, ofcourse, there'll be haters too but you get the point. Confidence is good, one more way of building confidence is through working on yourself and growing as a person. It's not your fault that people project onto you, slowly but surely, you're healing.

You shine which makes others insecure but it has nothing to do with you. While, your reputation and popularity does mean something to you, you are really scared of being the center of attention in any way at this point. My tip is to love yourself enough to not dim your shine. You are a really persistent person so you shouldn't have to worry about competitive but incompetent people trying to make you feel trashy. My tip is to let your guard down in front of certain people. Try to understand how your choices affect you without being too hard on yourself, you've always done your best and still are. It's quite obvious in the cards. Try to pace yourself in terms of work and self development. Realistically, it's not possible that you become 1% better everyday but it's possible that you try as hard as possible, not to the point of a burnout though. You know it but you're living life and learning through your experiences, I'm proud of you.

⸼ ۫ ︎︎⊹ ! 🪡︎ Pile 3 ꒱

꒰ Your negative thoughts ꒱

You've suffered the loss of something that wasn't exactly good and you know it but you're still letting it occupy your mind. You tend to have a lot of negative thoughts, like it seems like it's difficult to even keep a track. You think that people gossip about you and you don't mind it but maybe when it comes to your achievements in life, you are kind of insecure. You find yourself being jealous of people, you don't let it get the best of you ofcourse. You might feel a lot of anger, even at small things. If you're plotting something against people who have hurt you or well just plotting against someone in general, you need to stop. It doesn't need to be a great plot, it could be something like "I'm going to date ___ so that I can make her realise who the fuck I am." It doesn't need to be this ofcourse but you get it. Just don't let these people control how you live life. This plan is going to terribly backfire if you continue going. You're bitter about almost everything right now. Probably, past things still weigh heavily on you, maybe for some of you it was recent and for others, you just take longer to heal. People seem to have been really reckless when it comes to you because you seem very strong and they felt insecure. You wish to win, no matter what it takes.

You know that you need to get your mindset and life together but you don't know where to start, it's causing a lot of mental health issues for you. I feel like your emotions are making things mentally really hard for you and it's completely understandable. Emotions are normal, trust me when I see this, even people who decisively take actions in order to leave certain people and situations behind because it no longer serves them tend to cry and take time to heal. Most of you have let go of something or someone really precious to you even though they were definitely not worth it (could be multiple people) but some of you are still not being able to let go. Once, you let go, your negative thoughts will decrease. Letting go seems to be really painful for you, it's alright ! You're allowed to take your time. The changes you've gone through have been really drastic and it is scary. I feel like something is still very fresh, it still tugs at your heart, something or someone that makes you feel disappointed everytime you think about it or them. You think that you're a failure even though you're not. You just seem to be extremely disappointed at how things have turned out.

꒰ The loving truth ꒱

People do seem to gossip about you but it gives you the opportunity to become the best version of yourself to the point, people do not even believe negative things about you and if they do, it's out of jealousy. About your negative thoughts, you should meditate and write them down, process them properly and let go, little by little. You being insecure about your achievements is a clue as to you not being happy with where you are in life. You should try to accomplish things and better yourself. Also, your worth is not attached to anything outside of you, your character makes you worthy enough. Learn how to turn jealousy into admiration in order to become better as a person. Once, you start meditating, I'm sure that your anger will get better. It's okay to take time to heal but you do not have the right to hurt others just because you're hurt.

You will win, if you direct energy into yourself. Use the anger and bitterness as a source of toxic motivation. If you got involved in some sort of drama or fight recently, you need to think about what the other person/people said or did. You'll find your answers. It's alright, healing takes time, getting better takes time, building a certain lifestyle takes time. You should take time and space to consider your next steps (I feel like you're already there but you're still struggling, it'll get better if you try to be more decisive). As I said before being upset and grieving is alright ! You're allowed to take your time. Your outsides changing is simply a redirection for you to change your inside too. You'll find friends who will support you very soon. It's okay to be disappointed but you're not a failure, you have everything you need in order to move forward. Please take care of yourself, all love.

[blueberrypancakesworld]

A baby's instinct for mother

Franco Barbi x patient/mother! reader

warning : outlast level of dark themes and events, kissing, slightly dom/sub undertones, some groping, comfort, no use of y/n, injury (nosebleed)

Summary: Before the unlikely mother and son duo set up shop in the harbour-side children's playground, they were both nothing more than better rats for the organisation, but if a failed hopeful is to bond with a person it takes a lot of mothers, sacrifice and more than a slap on the bum for the baby to know what it's doing wrong and whether its instincts are right. In this story of how a man-baby found his mum…

info : So the second work for the sweet Franco and his mummy a little origin story you could say so have fun and thanks for all the feedback and support on the first work thanks :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The love of a mother for her child is a bond that is very special, a bond between two people who could hardly be physically closer.

A child who loves its mother because she brought it into the world, the child receives everything from its mother and the mother looks at this little human being with all her love and sees nothing but innocent love and hope.

At least that's how it seemed and that's how it should have been, but some children just can't behave, especially when they get older, forget their education, forget the rules and above all forget that a shotgun has a hard recoil after a shot and almost shattered twelve-year-old Franco's skull.

A little boy back then who hadn't listened, a little boy his father was proud of because he was reliable in the mafia business and bonded until the day Franco learned to love his beloved stepmother, learned to love the pointy end of her high heel, her soft skin that made him feel like a baby again, a bond he never had before she insulted him again.

But it was the kind of thing every child had learned not to do, every child except him, and so he was punched and kicked and the poor idiot left before his father actually killed him.

A mother should always be there for her children but the mother earth gave a fuck about her children and the adults it was an interaction.

The people hated the earth and the earth hated the people but the millions of people hiding on the streets in the dark sleeping in tents or mostly nothing more than cardboard houses was the way it was.

On this earth, the rich with money, power and influence survived and those who didn't have this, who perhaps even had a big heart full of joy and understanding, would end up miserably on the street, on the cold asphalt under a scorching hot sun, under snow and above all rain that brought the cold to your bones in such rain came the flyers and the vans.

A hope for better things and she had got in, really believing once again that there was good on this shitty earth but as the stuffy fabric stretched over her head and she felt the stinging prick of a needle on her neck she knew she would never feel the world again because she was going straight to hell.

It had been like this for weeks, months or years no idea how much time had passed she didn't know why she should either it wasn't necessary the only thing necessary was that in the women's section of this institution.

This freak show they lined up every day to the shrill sound of the loudspeaker and all took their pills, sometimes a few women were picked out and either didn't come back or had their arms and legs full of syringes that had probably been injected over and over.

But even in a place like this where she still seemed to feel the shackles in her wrists and the burning and trembling at night from the ‘drugs’, there still had to be something worse.

,,Where do you think they're taking us?" she had once asked her cellmate at the beginning of this nightmare, a slightly older woman who had already lost an eye and looked haggard, who perhaps had it even worse than she once did, ,,It's hell, child, it can only get better" he had replied before she burst into a resounding laughter that had denied her sleep.

But now that her hands were outstretched in front of her, she looked into the corridor and saw a few familiar and unfamiliar faces beside her, the taste of dusty platsik and a chemical strawberry flavour on her tongue from the pills, she wished herself back in her cell as the guards' hands laid on hers and she was taken away with others.

There was always something worse, and maybe it was the pills, but she walked through the metal doors and corridors more relaxed than she had once felt comfortable.

But as more mothers were brought into the playground a baby awoke on the other side, the smell of warmth almost like a blanket that would wrap around his naked body, the warm body of a mother with soft gentle hands that would hold her but most of all breasts nipples that he could suckle on to get the breast milk he so wanted and needed and would kill for.

,,You can't do all that-that's illegal," she heard another woman moan as her face lay in her hands and tears ran down her cheeks, making some of the others smile or cry, ,,We don't exist anymore, so who should care?” she replied and looked back out of the large cell, trying to memorise the way so as not to go mad herself, even though she knew deep inside that it was useless.

Until she came to the moment when the guards arrived and one woman after another was dragged out in front of her, but none of them had yet returned to strike and defend themselves, her defence was barely effective, however, the grips tightened on her arms and held her firmly as she cried out when a ‘doctor’ rammed a syringe into her chest with a broad yellowish grin of amusement.

Her swearing and threats fell on deaf ears and she fell silent as he threatened another injection. She was simply dragged along, her body aching from the medication or acid or whatever the fucker had given her, burning hot in every vein and artery of her body.

A warmth that didn't seem to leave her and the hatred inside her only increased, yet she could clearly see the colourful door at the end of the corridor, a peeling bay blue with little sturgeons and ducks painted on the door that opened and she was thrown inside.

The floor on which she was thrown was not hard, however, and surprise entered her eyes as she recognised the floor as soft play plates, the things that could be put together like a puzzle as she slowly stood up.

Saw that the wall was covered in old, leafy wallpaper in bright colours, with half and whole decapitated shovel mannequins everywhere and milk bottles here and there, ,,Shall I play nanny now?!" she shouted and only now realised the cameras in the corners watching everyone in the room.

She slowly realised why she was perhaps wearing this ugly simple dress with rips, stains and blood residue, why there were women here who never came back.

Perhaps there was still a worse place after all and she swallowed as she saw the pool of blood on the other side of the room where someone had apparently dismembered and broken a body so badly that only parts could be carried out.

But her question, the questions forming in her mind, she heard a whirring meachnik drive itself forward before the door on the other side slowly opened, the pool of blood hardly mattering anymore, the children's toys seemingly forgotten as she saw this something that was there a few metres away in front of her.

Not a child too grotesque for one but a perfect man could such a thing be a man at all, dressed in a white pinstripe suit with some dirt and blood and torn pieces of fabric, she could very well see the shcnuller hanging around his neck but this spawn didn't seem to care about his own existence instead his eyes settled on hers.

,,You smelled so good, warm and soft just like mum…the other whores just broke but you...you made me want to crawl inside you" came from his lips and she saw him pull a shotgun from behind his back and she took a step back, this whole fucking place could only get worse.

She was well aware of his grotesque gesture and saw the bulge in his pants. Either he had tried to jerk off before he came here or he was just getting so horny and aroused by her fear. He had followed her gaze, however, and his grin, if that was possible, became even wider.

If there was already someone like him, what else was there to come? Raising her hands slightly in an act of appeasement, she backed away again but the stranger continued to approach her, his broad grin telling her that he liked her fear.

,,Mother? I-I can help you find her, maybe-" she tried to convince him to calm down, maybe he was mentally ill, maybe his mother was really walking around here, but this short sigh of relief was interrupted by the shot of his gun as small pointed teeth shot towards her, pain and screams could be heard.

Blood ran down her arm where he had aimed, her already needy dress was even more torn and she had fallen back in fright, tripping over her own legs, hearing the man-child's shrill, satisfied laughter as he slowly came back towards her, ,,But I've already found her warm and soft and bleeding just for me! Come here and give me a kiss and a little more love, I need some relief,!" he shouted back delightedly and suddenly crawled towards her.

Backing away she didn't get far the wall at her back he kept coming towards her and to not go down without a fight she pulled her legs away as best she could so that his grabbing hands couldn't move against them and he pulled her towards him, so he had to get even closer which had to be to her advantage.

,,Just come into my arms and I promise I'll be all convincing and make you feel really good!" he drooled at the words, his tongue licking over his lips and she didn't want to find out how convincing he was, disgusted by his words she would have liked to teach him a lesson.

,,I don't belong to anyone, no one in this fucking place and certainly not to you!" she shouted back, her heart pounding with fear and anger as she lashed out with her leg and kicked him in the face with as much force as she could muster.

Hearing his almost choking sound as he backed away and held his face, she saw that blood was running down between his hands after a moment and his nose must have been affected.

Not knowing if waiting was right at all she hurried up and grabbed his dropped gun which she pointed at him, ,,That's-it's not fair…I just wanted my mum as pretty as you were-had promised me one like you" she heard him sniffle and he looked at her slowly she saw the hurt expression as the blood stained his suit and the dummy lay between his lips and he avoided her gaze almost apologetically.

She now slowly understood what was going on, the experiments, the spirts, the pills, everything was for him for this important man, uncertainty ran through her as she slowly knelt down in front of him and placed the weapon at his feet.

,,You…scared mum so surprised you came here, but you are…a big…boy aren't you? Don't cry I'm here…for you…for now and always" she chose her words carefully, with every motherly phrase her body gave her the feeling of rightness hormones were a miracle as they were always told and she gave him a loving smile almost automatically as she stroked his cheek.

His sniffling and crying slowly lessened as he looked at the gun and seemed to consider before he came closer to her, his hands travelling up her legs but there was trust in her gaze, trust that he seemed to know his limit for today and instead he snuggled up to her, kissing her clothes-covered chest, ,,I'm a good boy," he murmured as she held him, rocking him back and forth a little.

His lips kept trying to find her nipples between kisses, to have his way with her or to drink from her, but the little dress that was still between them prevented this and his almost whimpering was answered by her with a kiss on the forehead, which was probably enough for him. But this feeling of rightness falsely triggered by a man and drugs, a psychopath here all seemed so crazy that this was almost the most normal thing.

But she could also feel his sneaking fingers trying to slip under her dress, almost unintentionally, causing her to slap his hand gently but making the message clear, ,,We'll play later mum's exhausted…do you know where we'll be undisturbed?’ she asked quietly not knowing if the room was bugged and a wide sadistic grin suddenly appeared on his face as his childish persona was seemingly ahead and he broke away from her.

He put the shot to his shoulder before roughly taking her hand and pulling her to her feet, ,,Oh mother let that be my worry your good boy will show the fuckers how well you will be treated…Franco Barbi a pleasure a pure hot pleasure to have you with me" he introduced himself and she took his arm leaning slightly on it as the door opened with what appeared to be a glance from Franco to the cameras.

Maybe it was worth all the pain in the world that she had to suffer in the end, and even if it was just a part of the hormone pills and all that other stuff, he seemed to be the only one who would take care of her, who would really give everything for her and only wanted a mother in return.

If it was just a mum he needed who was she to deny him that she would be the best mum harsh and soft at the same time for her baby, her baby with a shotgun to keep the doctors and all the mess off her back.

A mother's instinct and a baby's instinct always brings two meant for each other together even in a place like the fucking hell they were in and no one would separate the baby from his mother without losing their fucking heads.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@youre-gonna-see-a-lot-of-me , @homefander , @millie-milkshake

[emmabirb8]

I've been an Invader Zim fan since 2011.

I was 15-16 at that time, and though I did thoroughly enjoy the show, I was not mature enough to really get it. Sure, it was funny, but I didn't pick up on the subtleties and style of humor beyond the surface level. I liked the wackiness and the characters, but I SURELY wasn't at a point of being able to deconstruct themes or analyze character motivations and narratives (like I very much enjoy doing now). I remember discovering an artist on DeviantArt who drew cute ZaGr stuff, so that was the pairing I liked too. I didn't think too deeply about much, and honestly, I don't think the majority of fans (if they were my age or younger, that is) did either. Everything was taken as dumb and silly for the most part, and that IS truthfully a major component of the show itself.

Getting back into Invader Zim within this past year though, I'm looking at it through a WILDLY different lens. I like Invader Zim for what it is and how it's intended to be perceived. I like that the show is meant to be dark, satirical, and tragic at the same time that it's silly, chaotic, and nonsensical. Almost everything that happens onscreen is written in to be funny above all else. (I've mentioned before that I've been watching Jhonen's Twitch streams for a while now, and I have a MUCH better understanding of his sense of humor bc of that. IZ makes way more sense if you can sorta see things from JV's perspective, lol.)

But at the same time, I also like Invader Zim for what it offers in terms of interpretation and what it can imply (intentionally or not). There is genuinely SO MUCH DEPTH to this dorky lil cartoon that a casual viewer wouldn't immediately pick up on. And a lot of that depth, I think, was not woven in purposely. The show itself was never meant to be taken so seriously. Nevertheless, I'm constantly fascinated by what IZ implies about good and evil, the nature of general society, and especially how it goes about demonstrating the devastating effects of social isolation and bullying. Meta for this series is always pretty damn *chef's kiss.* And what's even more interesting is how viewers manipulate canon to expand upon this world and these characters.

Given that I've come to understand Invader Zim better, I've also grown very fond of ZaDr. Now, while I wouldn't want to see this pairing happen in canon material, I love the potential it possesses in transformative contexts.

In reality, I get that these characters were intended to have a deep hatred for one another and a never-ending rivalry for the sake of comedy and not much else. It's an extraterrestrial perpetually throwing hands with a 12 year old because he's incompetent and his plans often fail. And that's funny. That's the point. But beyond that, canonically, these are two characters who are mirrors of each other; they're both treated like garbage by their respective peers, and they both crave acknowledgment, validation, and a sense of purpose. Throughout their story, they find they're only able to obtain these things from each other, so as a consequence of their similar personalities, they become utterly, unhingedly obsessed with each other (to a sometimes unhealthy degree). They are undeniably forever intertwined by design of how the show is set up.

And because of that, shipping of these characters was, frankly, inevitable in fandom spaces. I myself fell victim to their appeal too. (Sorry, Jhonen. 😅)

I'm not gonna go into any discourse surrounding this pairing because there's already PLENTY of that to go around online. Everyone has their own opinion on the subject, and that's fine. I respect that. Point is, even though I understand and appreciate what Zim and Dib are supposed to be in the context of the show, I also enjoy the idea of them as friends and romantic partners outside of and beyond the confines of canon.

And that's something that I think many fans who are biased toward ZaDr would also agree with! Actually, I'd say the majority of people who ship characters in ANY media would concur. We like the idea of seeing how specific relationships could develop over time and/or within different settings and circumstances. It's NOT always about wanting to see a relationship unfold on screen or in fan works strictly adhering to canon. It's about stretching canon, or in some cases, scratching canon entirely however you see fit! Who cares! It's fiction!

For me personally, I enjoy ZaDr because its attributes fall into so many trope categories that I've come to adore over the years (ones that I either wasn't aware of when I was younger, or that I didn't enjoy in the same intensity as I do now). Zim and Dib are, or could be, depending on context:

Codependent toxic soulmates

Human x non-human

Shared history

Classic enemies to lovers (or, as I often prefer it, enemies to friends to lovers)

Bicker couple

Battle couple, when put in the right setting for it

Violence as a love language

Smol and tol

The wild card paired with the rational one, the best part about this being that sometimes the more rational one is Dib, and sometimes it's Zim bc they're both a special flavor of insane

Make each other worse/stupider when together, tho oddly, they also kinda bring out the best in each other too

And, my personal favorites, the potential for hurt/comfort and angst with a happy ending, with the comfort and happiness aspects ultimately coming from each other

I like what these characters could be, to and for each other, apart from their roles in the show.

I would never want to explore a dynamic between Zim and Dib that goes beyond "frenemies" territory in canon (because that doesn't fit what the show is, and I do appreciate the integrity of Jhonen's vision). The subtle foundation for them is there, it's just that it can't really work unless a few key details are changed or manipulated, and, well...

I sure as hell like exploring every bit of that expanded potential in fan works because it's fun to imagine the various directions things could go if they were different!

This isn't me, like... trying to defend my (or anyone else's) enjoyment of this particular ship or trying to convince people to like it. Or the show for that matter! To each their own, truly. And I'm obv aware of the controversy ZaDr often incites and why. Everyone has valid reasons for liking OR not liking it, and I accept differing viewpoints on it. It's a touchy, nuanced subject to be sure. But this isn't about that.

I don't really know what this is, actually, aside from a very long very weird essay, lol. I just wanted to process why and how all of this works for me with my changed perspective from when I was first introduced to Invader Zim in my teens up until now.

It's strange, looking back. I didn't get ZaDr years ago. But I do now, and so much of it, at least from my perspective, has to do with taking the crumbs present in canon (that are undeniably there, whether you choose to acknowledge them or not, and whether they're intentional or not) and absolutely running with them to the ends of your own wild imagination.

(ZaDr content is always tagged appropriately on my blog. Pls use tag blocking functions if needed.)

[assassyart]

What are your favorite outfits for Ratchet from the games?

Good question!

As far as the armors go, I usually never actually use them in the majority of the games I play (unless they're forced onto me, like Deadlocked's or 2016's). But I do have my favorites.

Holoflux

Shocking probably no one, Holoflux is the best. People often say it's their favorite, and that's for good reason— it looks incredibly good on Ratchet. I definitely don't enjoy drawing this armor that much, but I still will do it from time to time because I like it that much, and Ratchet gets pretty privilege.

It's also cool that this armor matches Azimuth pretty well, and I like that it has the "powered down" version in cutscenes. It makes the finale hit that much harder. This is the only armor where I know it's my favorite. The others are in no particular order.

Quest

Quest for Booty's armor was always rather charming to me, but it got even better once I recognized it had the Apogee insignia on the belt. I am a Talwyn and Ratchet stan at heart, so this pulled this armor above some others just because of that detail. But putting that aside, it also really fits the game it's in and makes Ratchet look like an explorer. He matches Talwyn quite nicely, too, which fits since she's his companion in this game.

Rebel

Oh my god this armor stole my HEART for so long. I am begging Insomniac to give us more casual fits in the next entry because this armor spoiled me so much. I love the graffiti Clank on the left hand, I love the little jacket, I love how the full gear doesn't cover his face... it's just adorable. Such a good fit that suits Ratchet so much and it's definitely my favorite new armor in Rift Apart.

Infernox

As far as armors that cover Ratchet's face go, Infernox was always one of my favorites as a kid. Something about its color palette and overall "flame" vibe just screamed early-Ratchet to me. I really like this one, and I definitely prefer it over the more popular Carbonox armor. Then again, I'm also a sucker for Up Your Arsenal. :P

2002

Not an armor but an absolute classic look. Of all the ones here, it's my favorite to draw since it lets me draw more of Ratchet's fur. It broke my heart to know that IG really wanted to put it in to Rift Apart, but was unable to find a way. I hope they try to do it for the next game, but I'll understand even if they can't. It's just one of the best looks for Ratchet. So iconic.

Marauder

Listen. This armor is really cool looking, and I like it, and I especially like that Deadlocked lets me take off the helmet too... but boy, this bitch is painful to draw. Simplifying it almost feels heinous to do, since it's just so cool looking but GAH!!!! If you ever wonder why I never update the Deadlocked Together AU, it's because of this!!! This painful armor!!!!!!

That aside, this armor fits the tone of the game so well. It's edgy, it's brooding, it's dark. I love it. The only thing I don't like is the fact they hide his tail :(

Tuxedo

Despite always playing Going Commando and Up Your Arsenal exclusively without armor when I play, you would never be able to tell because I love wearing the tuxedo Ratchet skins. Somethin about formal Ratchet makes me have heart eyes. Very kissable.

Robot Pirate

While I obviously prefer rebel, this was one of the only other armors in Rift Apart that I found myself using for Ratchet. The scarf really looks good on him, and I'm very fond of the chest plate. If it weren't for Quest armor's inclusion, I would always wear this armor when going to Ardolis.

Comics

Last but not least (because tumblr says I should stop adding images)... the comic outfits. Once again, the casual Ratchet outfits are always going to score higher for me. I loveeeee seeing my boy look more casual. And while the left image looks a lot like his normal outfit, I prefer it more for keeping it loose. That, and something about that blue chest piece never sat right with me. In a perfect world, I think it would have stayed green to keep his earthy tones in tact even after Tools of Destruction.

And the overalls are just. Mwah. Chef's kiss. What a dork. He's so cute. I love him.

Thanks for the ask!

[hongluboobs]

tumblr user hong lu boobs have you played any of the new canto yet im very interested in your thoughts

Yes I do!!! I don't want to make a big post on Some Of The Stuff til the whole canto is up (if you are aware of this account and some of my recent postings it may become aware of what i am talking about) but ohhghghgh. This shit Re Awakened the naive cyanism in me!! I thought it was gone. I thought I was over Hong Lu! I haven't even been doing my dailies and weeklies as of late that's how out of it i've been. but NOPE!! We are sooooo limback babey!!

(i apologize for yapping about hong lu right off the bat. its not that guy's turn yet. it's don's world and we are all just living it, but with the way don's character is structured my brain goes more towards a "wait and see" approach for her. I know it'll be awesome and i Am invested but like. this is hong lu boobs dot tumblr dot com. I'm sorry women)

I'll put some basic stuff above the cut and then some more spoiler-y stuff below.

HUGE fan of the presentation this canto. PJM continues to get crazier with this stuff every canto and this is no exception.

In the light of that previous bullet, I am fully expecting some meta fuckery here. They've pulled some cool stuff at the ends of cantos 5 and 6 but. this is the sinner about delusion/unreality! I Live In Fear of whatever pm is cooking.

The setting is also REALLY fun. whenever I saw a new battle bg i was cheering and clapping. they're all so fun and whimsical and there's so much potential for interesting things

I really like seeing how people dress in the north of the city! We've had so many new factions/branches of factions thrown at us so far and I love a lot of the outfits! Will this still hold true when I try to draw them and get upset at the level of detail after drawing standard formalwear on pm characters for so long? Maybe!

The CGs have been really clean so far? As an artist I get worried about this stuff sometimes because it's a lot of work to get done but all the ones I've seen so far are really nice :)

If you aren't reading passives and status effects this canto. do that. my brain might be a little too small atm to comprehend some of the gimmicks w the main enemy type but some of the wording in the enemies passives may be hinting at things. Also some of them are really funny

this Might be my favorite direction they've taken the OST? Honestly it's so hard to pick because this ost NEVER misses but I've been typing this whole thing to that one boss's theme (you know the one)

If you've played through the first part of the canto, feel free to click through the read more for some of my thoughts that delve more into spoiler territory

I am so intimidated anytime the screen goes black and I have to deal with various colored text and Scary Voiceover. I cannot say much on it aside from just how scared i get whenever it happens. I'm pretty bad at identifying voices (especially if i don't understand the language) but these lines just get. so interesting

Here they are all together for my convenience (and potentially yours :) )

I don't have a ton to say on it especially because anything I say can be proven wrong Very Quickly and I am not a don quixote scholar but I think the "Please, please! I don't want an adventure, stop! Please!" line from (who i assume to me) second kindred don is VERY interesting. much to think about regardless!

UPDATE: while I was writing this my buddy lu-is-not-ok (follow him. if you like what I do you'll like what he does.) sent me this image.

Yep, we've got identity stuff going on. Yellow seems to be Our Don Quixote (It's her text color, at least, but back then she'd be the bloodfiend second kindred, hence being able to obliterate that bear immediately, and acting less in line with the DQ we know and love) while red is... maybe the original don quixote? The original owner of rocinate at least,("Your running shoes look like they could fetch a nice price...") who seems obsessed with justice and fixers like ours. I haven't read the book so I don't feel like I can add a ton more to this aside from flat speculation but I am very interested in how this develops.

Ok now I want to talk about Hong Lu stuff. Let's ignore the elephant in the room for just a second :)

I'm a big fan of the exchange between Dante, Verg, and Hong Lu. THERE IS SO MUCH CONCERNING FORESHADOWING IN HERE!!!!! OH MY GOG. I can't handle it.

the specific wording of "the most lucid one" is SO interesting to me. fully expecting these cantos to be a True Combo. I was already anticipating it because they both have so much to do with rules and the boundary of reality and delusion but with the familial hierarchy theme present in bloodfiends its Definitely happening. And the light in Hong Lu's left eye going dimmer??? with the water theming being used??? Gloom/sinking themed distortion Please Please Please. you're nothing. Theres some water connections from the book irt the land of illusion (near the end bao-yu's enlightenment is seen as realizing that everything is akin to moonlight mirrored in the water- it ultimately doesn't matter and everything predestined to happen will occur regardless) and this water theming is present in Hong Lu as well (base ego) but it's really interesting to see it Like This.\

And now. there's probably some other stuff I can talk about but I wanna say things about The Elephant In The Room. If you follow my stuff and are caught up on this canto you know what I'm talking about.

I have been compiling a diagram with every mention of Hong Lu's family across all his dialogue. (which you can see here if interested, though it's now outdated for obvious reasons) We only really get vague mentions, the only direct family appearance is Jia Huan, who shows up to say one line and then fucks off.

I was not expecting to get stuff on Hong Lu This Early. They've been giving us mostly crumbs and I was NOT expecting to get hit by All This. I have been surviving on scraps and I just had the Hong Lu lore equivalent of a rotisserie chicken thrown to me. I'm kind of rusty on DOTRC because I haven't touched up on it in a while and as such I cannot give too many details but it's very interesting to see Xichun.

I'm going to check up on Xichun's characterization in the source later because there's so many characters in that book and she wasn't really one I had that close an eye on during my read. From what I remember, she's one of Bao-yu's cousins who lives in the garden with him, and eventually runs away to become a nun when the family starts falling into decline. (mirroring Bao-yu running away to become a monk for the same reasons.) I'm probably missing stuff I'll catch when I go out to reread the book, but based on how she's depicted here it gives me more of an idea about what themes of dotrc they're pushing for canto 8.

They're for sure emphasizing the familial abuse and how fucked up the jia family is. It almost reads like all of the siblings are in competition with each other (building "factions"). and Hong Lu has said his siblings have attempted to kill him before.

Hong Lu has been like this, which lines up with his book equivalent of Bao-yu, who is notorious for being childish/naive and not necessarily working within the pre established rules and conventions set up by his family. I'm curious how he's managed to survive this long with the jias a lot more willing to Kill Eachother.

"My most amicable sibling" fucks me up so much. what the hell is this family's deal man. I'm really curious about this line, because xichun is not a sibling but a cousin in the book. I'm curious what's gonna happen with Bao-chai and Dai-yu in Limbus because it's very challenging to adapt this story without those two. Dai-yu in Dotrc is one of the characters Bao-yu feels most comfortable being himself around. Generally, the female characters in DOTRC are better people than the male ones, and Bao-yu spends most of his time with the girls as a result. I'm curious how/if they'll adapt this because it's a pretty big thing in the book and they serve as an escape for Bao-yu from dealing with the nightmare that is people like his father. I feel if it was happening, they'd probably write Xichun a little kinder, but I don't know nearly enough to make any sort of call yet. Absolutely TERRIFIED (positive. this is a good thing) for what PM is cooking.

I'm gonna have to cut this off here because i have A Lot of thoughts but i also have many assignments to finish and have been typing this for way too long! Thank you for asking the question anon I hope you enjoyed reading some of my thoughts :) !!

[pico-farad]

I absolutely love your Vrains analyses and I honestly can't wait for you to reach season 3.

I was wondering what you thought of the character of Spectre? Out of the whole cast, he's the one I really can't pinpoint how I feel about. (Beside the obvious fact that this kid needs therapy, I know they all do, but THIS ONE REALLY DOES.)

To be honest... Spectre is just really funny to me LMAO

My guy was raised by a tree. As a BABY. No food, no water, no body heat. There's probably ants crawling all over him. The tree scares away wolves who try to eat him, because they're probably like Oh shit, did that tree just fucking move???

This is peak Yugioh. Who put this Giving Tree-ass backstory into a hard sci-fi card game anime? Give them a raise. Where is Spectre's tree mom going on the Yugioh parent tier list?

Besides the funniness of staying connected to tree mom through card games, I like his Sunavalon deck. The Spectre vs. Lightning duel fucking ruled. From a gameplay perspective, it's one of the best in all of Yugioh. The reverse extra link? Stealing Judgment Arrows? This duel goes incredibly hard for no reason and definitely made me like Spectre more.

So yeah, those are my prevailing thoughts on Spectre, he's just not very important in my mind. If I were to take a more in-depth look at him, though...

I actually disagree with the premise that all of the kids need therapy, but I especially disagree that Spectre especially needs therapy. It's pretty explicit in the text, that Spectre is better off because of the Lost Incident.

Yusaku: If you endured the same hell as me-- Spectre: Hell? What do you mean? Am I different? I guess so, from your point of view Spectre: I grew up in an orphanage. I lacked the ability to mingle with others. Even among people, I was always bored and alone. That's when that incident occurred. Finally, I was entertained. Yusaku: The Lost Incident entertained you? Spectre: Yes, I enjoyed it. Even if I could go home, loneliness and boredom awaited me. Nobody would talk to me. Nobody cared about me. But it was different in that room. Someone was testing me. Someone expected big things from me. When I realized that, I felt the will to live for the first time. Spectre: You probably can't understand. Because if the incident hurt you, you must have led a happy life before. Yusaku: You don't hate the Knights of Hanoi? Spectre: Hate? Revolver-sama gave me a place to belong. Am I strange? But I think you're stranger, loudly proclaiming your sense of justice. Yusaku: Due to that incident, time has stopped moving for me. Spectre: But due to that incident, it started moving for me.

Spectre is characterized as someone who's fundamentally different from other people (maybe because he was RAISED BY A TREE), and this is the case long before getting kidnapped. He's not crazy because of the Lost Incident, and he might not even be crazy at all. He has what he wants, he's happy, he's just happy in a way that normal people, including the audience, cannot understand.

In the above conversation, Spectre is very aware of how he is strange to others, questioning multiple times, "Am I different?" "Am I strange?" Despite being unlike others, he has the capacity to understand how others think and live, and because of that, how they see him. He's actually very discerning, in general, about the perspectives of others; this is how he's able to manipulate Aoi in their duel, and how he easily recognizes Lightning's secret.

Because that's one way of coping with a world of people very different from you -- getting very good at understanding people who would not put forth the same energy to try and understand you. That's what happens in that conversation with Yusaku. Spectre is able to recognize that he is strange to Yusaku, and why. Even though to him, Yusaku is the one who's strange. But he doesn't say that either of them is "right," just that they have different perspectives.

Now, is all of that what the Vrains writers were thinking when they made him?

Uh, maybe I'm just cold and dead inside, but I think they mostly just wanted to make their antagonist seem like a crazy psycho who believes he was raised by a tree and enjoyed getting kidnapped.

Because if I were writing a story about a character who feels alienated by what other people consider normal, I don't think I would have gone the route of, "Some people actually enjoy trauma! It makes them feel important!" I mean, you could incorporate that into a story about how different people experience trauma differently, but, I dunno, these would not be my first choices if I was trying to write a nuanced character exploration.

I also would not go the route of dedicating his entire life to Revolver, and if I did, I would actually develop their relationship.

I wish Revolver had more of a relationship with the Knights of Hanoi in general, which could have actually fleshed out his character. All of them, including Spectre, are just loyal yes-men who do whatever he says. Any scene with them may as well be Revolver monologuing by himself, because they don't bring anything of their own to the table. It just makes both Revolver and the Knights less interesting to me. 

There's various other areas in which Spectre could have been better utilized too. Like I said in the Aoi post, it would have been interesting if they actually built on the themes explored in that duel, and had some recurring interactions. I also would have liked to see him actually interact with Earth, and his actual perspective on the Ignis and the AI vs. humans conflict. 

To be honest though, not every character in Yugioh has to be a main character. So while all these things may be interesting to explore in theory, I think Spectre is mostly fine the way he is in canon: funny tree man.

[apoptoses]

JESS i’m having louis/armand/daniel brain rot again, i wanna know your thoughts 🥺 specifically like, are there any things that armand and daniel enjoyed during their DM years that you think they might pick back up with louis at trinity gate? i feel like in my head, daniel is always kind of the third wheel (at trinity gate, at least), but i’m really fascinated by the idea of LOUIS being the one to step into their world for a change

oh man oh man, I LOVE this question!! and i have so many thoughts!!

Movies: we know Louis watches movies from how he kept showing up at Lestat's in body thief to stare at his tv lol But I think Armand and Daniel have so many inside jokes from all of the weirdo movies they used to watch, or quotes that they repeat and Louis doesn't get it. So I think they'd really enjoy sitting him down and subjecting him to the Worst Hits of Armand's Movie Phase.

And Daniel especially would enjoy the validation that some of these are fuckin terrible films LOL They could mind gift back and forth about how insipid Louis finds the plot until Daniel is sitting there choking back laughter because finally, someone who agrees Time Bandits isn't that funny.

Video Games: I don't mean modern console games, I mean like classic arcade games and pinball machines. Which Armand probably has a whole room of them in the basement somewhere, lovingly restored and in perfect condition. And I think Louis would be a little hesitant- he seems like the type who acts 'above' certain things just because if he tries it and sucks at it he'll feel humiliated. But even he can't resist the siren call of PacMan and eventually he's knocked them both down on the scoreboard and taken the top spot.

(Also they like to go out a lot so sometimes they end up at like, Dave n Busters LOL Which is far more contentious because ugh, it's noisy and tacky and smells like that radioactive 'cheese' mortals cover their nachos with. But your jock!Louis headcanons have bewitched me and I think they could soothe him by getting him to shoot hoops on the basketball game)

Going Out-Out: Louis is such a homebody when left to his own devices and now that they've got Trinity Gate, home to whatever vampires want to stop by, what's the point in spending time among mortals?

So they'd ease him in with some random one-off classes ("Come, Louis, we've an appointment to learn to make fresh pasta tonight" "Yeah, I know, what's the point when we don't eat, just don't argue with him, it'll be fun" And you know what? It is). And then they'd take him to random stuff from the meetup app (or not so random, because both of them know Louis wouldn't be able to resist debating strangers at a weekly book club).

And then they're back to running around strange apartment buildings to meet up and coming artists, and accepting invites to follow their classmates down to a local bar, and crashing the sets of night shoots around New York. It goes better when it's the three of them because when someone is over it and ready to go home there's no obligation to stay and keep their partner company. No pressure to do anything but enjoy existing together out in the world for a few hours.

Special mentions:

board games (the more obscure the better)

travel (this time Louis and Daniel are more mentally present lol)

letting armand play sugar daddy and picking their outfits for the ballet (which leads to some altercations that have armand feeling like that post about 'help my subs have unionized')

weird 70s/80s craft nights (louis ends up gifting his tie dye shirt to lestat, armand and daniel send theirs to marius)

'treasure hunting' aka scamming the wealthy out of their art collections (louis doesn't care about the value, he does however feel some righteous indignation over important historical pieces being kept in vaults as some tech bro's 'investment'; daniel is just happy to finally understand how armand does it, and take part in it himself)

abusing kitchen gadgets (doesn't matter who you are, playing 'will it blend' can catch the fascination of even the most arrogant, erudite vampires)

[misscrawfords]

So I'm on S02 of Fringe now and I'm having some thoughts about JJ Abrams. I know that JJ Abrams has done a lot so I'm not trying to come to any full hypothesis about him or probably say anything new about him because I know people have written a lot about him and his love of mystery boxes and ability to set up mysteries and not follow through on them. I'm no expert. And I along with many others feel real betrayal and frustration at him over The Rise of Skywalker. But the thing is, I absolutely love Fringe and Alias. They are two of my favourite shows ever and I'm currently finding rewatching Fringe massively comforting in ways I'm just starting to unpick. (I think it's something to with the fact that it's very much pre-social media, pre-conspiracy theories actually impacting real world politics to the extent they do now. It feels like a more innocent time.)

Alias and Fringe are really similar in many ways and it makes me wonder what the SW sequel trilogy might have looked like if JJ Abrams could have produced it as a TV show instead of a movie trilogy. I'm willing to bet it would have worked a lot better.

Things Alias and Fringe have in common:

Genuinely strong, well-developed, fun, intelligent, three-dimensional heroine who carries the story - Sydney Bristow and Olivia Dunham are really awesome protagonists and I struggle to name more modern heroines in TV who are a more successful blend of interesting, human and aspirational (they're both way more special and exciting and skinny and conventionally attractive than me!). They're descendants of Buffy Summers and genuinely such good characters. It's so refreshing to have sci-fi and mystery and spy thriller series with female protagonists, even now.

Said female protagonist is Special. Yes, they're good at their job but over the course of the series it becomes increasingly clear that they have actual supernatural special powers and their very existence is linked to the overarching mystery. They really are chosen ones.

Father figures are essential and the father/child relationship is arguably the central relationship in the show. Jack Bristow as Sydney's father, Arvin Sloane as her pseudo-father/mentor in Alias, Walter Bishop as Peter's father being the very centre of the plot in Fringe and his quasi-paternal relationship to Olivia as well.

Speaking of fathers, these shows really are about one specific very weird and messed up family creating problems for everyone else. The Bristows really punch above their weight in the Alias universe and the Bishop family, specially Walter's love for his son and his consequent actions, are responsible for the literal plot of Fringe. The number of people working with family members or investigating them when really these are all kinds of an HR nightmare seem to be normal in JJ Abrams' world. Nothing is random but all connected and family and blood is everything.

He seems to really like a plot involving shape-shifers where someone kills the heroine's loved one and steals their face as a way of infiltrating their organisation. Francie in Alias, Charlie in Fringe.

Secret organisations with fanatical beliefs and people with too much power and knowledge committing to them in a way that is understandable but also horrifying and leads to terrible, terroristic consequences are the central villains.

Against the odds, the heroines have happy endings with their long-time love interest and a child.

Judging from the above, JJ Abrams should have been perfect to take on Star Wars, a dysfunctional family saga about fathers and sons in which the adherents to a strange set of mystical beliefs cause insurmountable problems, especially one where the heroine is a skinny plucky girl who develops super powers.

I wonder how JJ Abrams' SW show might have gone if he could have developed all his ideas in slow burn over 5 seasons with 20 episodes each, and the racist, misogynist, backward looking fandom weren't a thing. I'm not trying to excuse the mess that was TROS at all, but I just think he has a history of executing these kinds of stories so much better!

For example, of course JJ Abrams would make Rey a Palpatine. This is giving her a heritage and making family and blood the central theme just as it is in both of the above shows. But instead of the ludicrous "Somehow Palpatine returned", this is the sort of plot that could have been built up and revealed so much more effectively over a season of a TV show. It could in fact have worked really well, as could Rey's reaction and sense of betrayal. Something this massive is really hard to pull off in one movie. And if that had been the plan all along then it should have been sign-posted clearly from TFA. A TV show would also allow more scope to flesh out Rey and Ben's dyad in the Force thing and develop their special abilities.

I wonder whether in the context of a longer running TV show that could have developed Ben's redemption further he would have given Rey and Ben a happy ending. To have her alone without her love interest and without a child is the anomaly here. The ending many Reylos actually wanted where Rey and Ben were free of the war and living in some kind of peaceful exile with their family actually would fit Abrams' MO more based off these two shows.

I'm curious to know how he'd do the shape-shifting and betrayal thing. Maybe the other way round with Finn returning to the First Order as a Stormtrooper to lead a rebellion? Or would one of the Rebellion be proved to be working for Palpatine? Who knows.

Would Snoke and Palpatine be given more time to flesh out their motivations? While I love that Snoke was ultimately not that important and Palpatine was ridiculous, it could have been interesting to give one of the old-man-villains the treatment of an Arvin Sloane who is such a completely fascinating and compelling villain. Arvin Sloane in space playing Snoke's role and showing more of his relationship with Ben/Kylo would be really fascinating. Ditto Ben's relationships with Luke and Han. (SO MANY FATHER FIGURES!) And Rey's relationships to both of them too.

Anyway, this is all just meandering thoughts and speculation based off a tiny amount of JJ Abrams' work but I find it interesting and a little sad to imagine what the ST could have been like with more time to breathe and none of the Culture Wars.